This afternoon I was rather surprised when I opened up my inbox. I had received an email from an old friend that I haven't seen in quite a while. I saw him once in the last year (maybe this year can't remember) but it was acquired and I could tell by this body language that he was a bit wearied out.

We met about two years ago.. I think we met off of some site I don't know which. But we hit it off great. We both loved music, he is a music freak. We just "clicked" we had great conversations and were always laughing.

I did think he was a bit introverted and I seemed to be the wild one but over time he really started to grab life by the horns.

I remember at that time I was going to go up to New York to visit my Step Father and I honestly did want to go alone because I would be bored wondering the streets by my lonesome. So one day at a restaurant he was talking about how much he wanted to go to New York and I said "Well just come with me.. it will be fun" and he said "Sure!". I know we had a great time in the city.

But are all of that things started to go down hill. Little by little our friendship started to crumble. I'm not going to get into it but I know it was hard for him and I was started to feel cornered and very uncomfortable.

It ended up getting to the point where I had to sever myself from him. It was for the best I was getting too stressed out and he was feeling... well I'm not sure I just know it wasn't good.

Either I was never mad at him more upset at the fact that I knew I had to end the friendship. He had a great impact on my life I would even go so far to say if things would have said good he could have been my best friend. Ending that friendship was one of the hardest's things I have had to do. I cried for days after it was said and done and never thought I would find someone that could really mesh with me so well and be that great friend.

I will say I'm quite luck since then I have picked up the pieces and moved on. I have really lived life. I've gone from living with my father and having no friends or relationships to living with 4 boys and having roommates, then having a boyfriend for almost ten months, then a bad breakup, then another boyfriend, then moving out on my own and having my own place, to another break up, to now meeting my good friend Chris which I love hanging out with.

A lot of things have come and gone and I've had the good and the bad and even then the worse. But I think I'm starting to come full circle and am growing as a person.

So I sit here with a heavy decision to make. Do I ignore his email and continue on in my life or do I respond and try to mend things and maybe even give friendship another try.

I'm torn. Part of me misses the good times we had but the other part is scared that I my be putting myself back into a bad situation. I know I have grown and learned but has he and does he see why I had to do what I did and can he handle that?

I don't I think I will think about this for a little while and then go forward with a decision.

I can tell you right now I bet he is reading this. I just hope he knows that I have always cared for him as a friend even when things went bad. This has never changed. We were best buds and in my mind he will always stay that way.

It seems this is where I have to make my move.